HOLY FUCK THE NOTES.
reblog EVERY TIME THIS IS ON YOUR DASH .
If you follow me and you don’t reblog this, we’re gonna have a little issue.
I will 500% judge you if you don’t Reblog
More people reblogged this than there are in my state??
More people reblogged this than there are in my COUNTRY??
Omg let’s make this to 10 million ++ !!
I’m lazy, and I never write…
Deal with it.
Also, I’m starting to be a different and better person. I have interests and hobbies and so much more that I want to do.
I’m wiser than I was, I’m less naive (which is a loss and a gain in itself.) I believe that I am a more well rounded person as well as someone that most people I encounter would like to get to know better.
I have plans to make my life better and I simply need the willpower to make myself a better person. Being positive is one of the hardest things for me to accomplish…I’m a negative, or ‘realistic’ person by nature simply because I grew up the way that I did…with the family that I have.
I would rather be ‘realistic’ than be hopeful…I view that as a character fault instead of a strength now…although I suppose putting all my hopes and dreams out into the world could be a weakness.
Anyway, the point of all this is that I have dreams and aspirations that I could never have imagined even half a year ago.
I want to open up my own coffee-house and bakery…I want to reach the point where I am comfortable with who I am physically, mentally, and emotionally…I have plans in place to do all these things and will share more as time goes on.
I hope everyone who is reading this blog, and everyone who is sharing their time with me…can stay, wait, and learn right along with me.
I think that the world would be a better, and a safer place if everyone had a certain number of days that they were allowed to call in to work with the reasoning of “Hiding under the bed”…
I don’t want to spend the day in bed, I don’t want to just lounge around eating snacks and catching up on my tv shows or anything…I literally just want to hide under the bed and process just how lonely, sad, scared, anxious, and stressed out I really feel.
The frustrating part is that this never happens when I have the luxury of free time. This happens when I have things I have to do. Feeling like you need some down/alone time to cry and sleep it out? TOO BAD: all you get is the space between one day and the next.
So, in a few days when I have a couple days off…I won’t need to process or cry anything out because I’ll have bottled everything up and hid it under my emotional bed never to be seen or heard again. I’ll be “fine” and “Okay” and “Better.”
I’ll have rubbed the proverbial dirt over it and walked all my emotional shit off. Or I’ll assume that I have and ignore it until I have another day like today…
I honestly think that depression is a lot like a spinning top. Everything is running along smoothly and everything is perfectly fine until it isn’t. I spin and I spin and I spin…and then I topple over and it takes me such a long time to start spinning again.